Days 282 & 283

Saturday

Got out late, so I had even less time to ride. There were also a ton of people at the barn, so I had small space to work in. I managed to force my way in there and longe Brie and work on our flexibility program, which she is getting better at. I think she's getting bored with it now, so I have to figure out something new to add to it.

She was fairly calm while riding, but we're still working on headset. She's gotten really lazy without the pressure to show, so it's taking a lot of work getting her back into show mode.

As show season approaches, I find myself in the same place that I usually end up at this time of year -- wondering if I even want to show. On one hand, it's fun, but it's only fun if you win, which I don't do too often...I can't help but get the feeling that, despite all of my effort, everyone thinks I'm completely incapable of doing anything "right" with horses because I continue to ride horses that don't place firsts while my brother, for example, took over Nina and always wins firsts. It's just very discouraging.

And while I like going to have fun with my horses for the majority of the day and spend all that time with them, I feel like I'd rather be going trail riding or something. I don't know. Since I started riding, I've had this shift in interest from showing to trail riding. It just gets so boring going around in the arena, doing almost the same things every week, constantly trying to make your horse perfect...maybe they just want to relax a bit and go sightseeing.

Sunday

I got to ride Harry today! He was a bundle of anxiety and no matter how many circles I tried to do, he never really calmed down for me...for my mom, he was better, but for me, not too great. He walked really nicely, so I guess that's a plus, since I've struggled with getting him to walk calmly. But he only stayed in gait going over the soundboard and that's just because he's vain.

Brie is putting my patience to the test, once more. Now that I know she knows exactly what I want from her (to stand still at the mounting block), she is seeing if I can keep making her do that. It took at least a few tries to make her stand still at the block, and even then, she wasn't right next to it and I had to scoot it over.

I found out recently that one of my friends got an internship at a barn in Florida. I'm so jealous of her...I wish that I got to go work under a professional and spend my entire day with horses.

I've also decided that, after much thought, I will be ending this blog at Day 300. I was going to do an entire year (365), but after 3 actual years of writing, I've lost a lot of interest in it. I feel my posts getting repetitive lately with no real development happening and want to focus more of my energies into seeing a change in attitude both in myself and in my horses. This blog has really been an inspiration for myself during times where I feel like I'm at a standstill and I'm thankful for it. But with graduation fast approaching and the impending uncertainty of life after college, I don't even know if I'll be able to make  it to 365 days in the near future. So I would rather end on a finite note than to be constantly wondering if I will ever have the time or opportunity to come back to this again.