Equestrian Team Spring - Day 2

This lesson was by far better than the last one.

Today I rode Sunny, who was infinitely better than Wonder last week. She was a little wiggly, but overall very nice. I got to work on my balance over poles and then got to go over some little jumps, which was really nice. It was a good confidence boost. I don't know why, but I'm so much more scared suddenly of jumping on these horses, which is stupid, because at home I make Harry jump over things he's dead scared of and have no fear, and make Brie jump over bigger jumps going really fast. I don't really know what's up with that, but the entire time tonight that I jumped I tried to tell myself, "It's fine, don't freak out, it's just like going over with Harry." I feel like I would do infinitely better with my own horse, but that's not going to happen any time soon. And I know this sounds stupid, but I think that if I can't get over this funk with jumping by the end of the school year, I might not join the team again next year. I feel like I'm happy with having tried out jumping and now know that I'm not missing anything by not doing it and would rather save the lesson money every week and put it towards board or shots or shoes or something for my own horses...because in reality, when I get my own horses again later in life when I have a real job and what not, I will undoubtedly go back to Paso Finos. I might buy my own jumper or dressage horse for fun, but I feel like as you get older, it gets harder to get into different show circles than what you were raised in if you're serious about showing (which I am). I'm not trying to make this sound like a crutch or anything, but the more time I spend with the team and their jumpers, the more I just want my Pasos. Maybe it's school horses, maybe it's the sport itself, but I'm not really all too thrilled with it anymore. And I'm perfectly okay with that.